Sexual Behavior

Why Are Men Vulnerable to Losing Control of Their Sexual Behavior?

The recent release of the independent movie “Shame” shows the emotional downfall of a man who has lost control over his sexuality. The movie shows that some men can become so out of control sexually that it impacts their relationships, work and health. An audience is left to guess at the cause of this out of control sexual behavior. At the Sexuality, Attachment and Trauma Project we understand these causes and how to treat such problems.

The majority of individuals who experience out of control sexual behavior are men. Why?

The answer can be found by looking at how boys are socialized. As early as the 1980s, researchers have been looking at the differences between male and female infants and how they express their emotions. Studies have shown that male infants actually express more emotions than their female counterparts. It has also been shown that there is a complete reversal of this by the age of two. This reversal is a result of a socialization process that is supported by mothers, fathers and the society at large. Infant boys, who are initially more emotional than infant girls, are seen to be less emotional when they reach toddlerhood. Also, these toddler boys start to turn to the object world, like toys and games, as a way to cope with their anxiety, whereas their female peers tend to turn to people to help reduce their distress. This process progresses as boys turn to men and it leaves these men with the sad tendency to cope alone rather than turn to others. This defensive independence is believed to be a result of the early and emphatic separation from their mothers, leaving these men with a continued yearning for closeness that simultaneously threatens their autonomy. This yearning seems to create conflict for men in which conforming to the male role means disconnecting from their feelings and needs. For men, embracing feelings and needs means deviating from a male role, which results in alienation and scorn. They are essentially in a no-win situation. The disconnection from feelings and needs often wins out. These gender-role ideas have an interesting connection to out of control sexual behavior.

One of the factors related to out of control sexual behavior is a concept called alexithymia. This concept relates to the difficulties that certain individuals have in recognizing, naming and verbalizing their feeling states. Basically, an individual with alexithymia experiences their feelings as bodily discomfort rather than as feeling states (i.e. sadness, fear, anger). These individuals then lose the benefit of identifiable feelings that could be used to direct their thinking and actions. Human beings were given the benefit of feelings in order to help direct our behaviors. Without knowledge of our feeling states we are directionless and lost. This directionless existence in men with alexithymia often results in impairments in self-care, relationships, sensitivity and mood regulation. Men that are out of control with their sexual behavior are usually alexithymic. This male-patterned alexithymia results in an impaired ability to put feelings to words and an inclination instead to act out feelings. One way that men act out their feelings is through out of control sexual behavior. Men with out of control sexual behavior often do not know what they are feeling and instead experience feeling states in their bodies and are prone to use bodily action to address these feelings. If men have the tendency to use action rather than words in order to address their feelings, then non-relational sex may be one of their strategies. However, a strategy like this can often become the problem. If men are using this strategy they are not getting the benefit of their feeling states. Without knowing what you feel, you do not know what you need. These men are using a sexual strategy to address anger, sadness, fear and probably a mix of other emotions. The true issues are not being addressed. Also, the reinforcing nature of sex keeps these men using this strategy even though they are not truly addressing their needs. This sexual solution becomes another problem without the original problem ever getting resolved.

At the Sexuality, Attachment, and Trauma (SAT) Project we address these difficulties for men. Our approach helps these men to learn how to express themselves directly resulting in a reduction of sexual acting out. We help men learn to develop their emotional vocabulary and to build their emotional intelligence. The SAT Project is an outpatient clinic and research think-tank, based in New York City, that provides therapeutic intervention using effective and evidence-based treatment techniques to help individuals with sexual and relationship difficulties and conducts cutting-edge research on the etiology and treatment of out of control relational and sexual difficulties. For more information, please go to

Michael M. Crocker

Come Sexual

The Way To Over Come Sexual Deficiency In Males

Viagra is an efficient sexual solution for men. Throughout many years it is being used for ‘male sexual problem’ or ‘sexual deficiency’ which is also recognized as ‘impotence’. If you have such kind of problem, then nothing to get worried as there are plenty of solutions. If you feel shame for discussing it with anyone, then there is another option for you. You can order Viagra online. You will certainly get a complete pleasure by taking this product before sex. It helps to boost up your sexual emotions and makes you stronger for doing sex.

At present, countless cheap Viagra products are available in the market. You just need to choose the suitable one for you. If you have no idea about these products then you can take a Viagra online guidance. Here you will get the free guidelines through which you can find the suitable product for you. So here you will get numerous services. Actually it facilitates males with ED to take action for sexual motivation. The arteries in the penis get strong and make the penis larger when a person is sexually energized. This is a normal case but if it doesn’t happen, then there is a certain problem. But Viagra makes it normal. If you are facing such kind of problem then don’t let it go for a long time as it may turn out to be serious problem in future. Order Viagra and enjoy your emotions.

‘Sexual deficiency in males’ is turning out to be vital problem in these days. Therefore every man is expected to be aware of this dangerous problem as this problem is identified almost after the marriage. Marriage is a vital part of life and no one should betray his wife. She is not only your life partner but your sexual partner too. So you can not make her disappoint. It is a fact that so many divorce cases are logged in court due to only this cause. Therefore this problem can destruct your whole life if you often ignore it. There is nothing to shame as it is also a human disease and there are lots of treatments are available today for get rid of it. If you are facing financial problem then you can choose the cheap products as well. These are also safe and branded.

Spiritual Sexuality

Spiritual Sexuality – The Antidote For Depression

Spiritual Sexuality is an expression of our inner most desires and longings to explore intimate passion stepping into the unknown. When we allow ourselves to explore outside our “box” we feel a stirring in our belly that likens itself to nervousness even borders on fear. The kind of fear one has when taking on a challenge for the first time, skiing a difficult slope, rock climbing, or any type of competition. There is something about being on the edge that leaves no room for depression.

There are different grades of depression, major depression single episode, major depression recurrent, atypical depression: a residual category for individuals who cannot be diagnosed in the above categories. The list of depressive disorders goes on and on. I have created my own label called low-grade depression. It is like a low-grade fever. You can still go to work and carry on with your day but you feel “under the weather”. Western Medicine treats these disorders with medication, antidepressants.

This therapist wants to know when was the last time you had sex? How often do you have sex? Does you masturbate and how often? More times then not a person’s sex life has diminished or is non-existent. Lack of sex and intimacy is the underlying cause for disease, illness and depression. There are many reasons individuals stop having sex; from the birth of children, to a partner who is no longer interested, to a busy life style, or years of relationship where they have grown apart sexually but are still compatible in every other way.

Bottom line, it is not only a depressing situation but the individual is losing their energy and internal drive to succeed or accomplish their previous enthusiastic goals. Those who manage to keep going may do OK but far less then what they are capable of when fully functioning and using their sexuality as their catalyst life force energy.

Awakening the vital passionate energy that stimulates the hormones and heals us at a cellular level is the first step in pulling yourself out of depression. This means doing things you have never done before in any category of life (legally) but especially sexually. Breaking out of the sexual box is one of the most difficult things you will ever do. Your partner may be challenged and put up resistance. You will have to rock the boat and create what is called a ” healing crises”. You have to move past your own fears and discover a new world that is filled with energy. The fastest way to lift yourself out of depression is to have a fantastic love making session, breaking your normal patterns. Whatever that may look like for you, give yourself whole-heartedly to the absurd, bizarre, unconventional exploration of sacred sexuality.

The key to exploring your sexuality is to assume authority, take responsibility and be spiritually accountable for your actions. This is not license to do whatever you please but Freedom to do what you need to do to maintain your emotional, mental, physical, spiritual and sexual well being responsible.

All Rights Reserved Copyright 2004 Sexual Solutions LLC

Ina ” Laughing Winds” Mlekush M.A. M.F.C.C. Sex and Marriage/Relationship Counselor

-Sex Counselor AASECT Certified American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapist

-Marriage Counselor – MFCC Marriage, Family, Child Counselor

-Chuluaqui Quodoushka Spiritual Sexuality Senior Teacher

-Clinical Hypnotherapist

-Metaphysical Minister

Sexual Enhancement

The Answers to the Right Sexual Enhancement For Women

Sexual enhancement for women works in such a way that a women needs and capability in relation to sex is improved. Every woman deserves a satisfying sexual experience and sex enhancers give this to women. Females are also encouraged as well as informed that their sex drive is not something that can be lost but instead be reclaimed and improved.

A women sexual capacity can be enhanced in many different ways. Many of these enhancers that cater to a women needs are produced by the market at present. The online market also directs females to the different sexual solutions that are readily available to help women. The market has taken this general approach to enhancement techniques with the idea that women sexual problems can be explained and that reasons for the problem can be identified and properly treated with the right methods.

Sexual Enhancement for Women on Focus

The most important hormone for women is estrogen. This powerful female hormone can be very influentially related to sexual capacity of females. An increase or decline in the production level of estrogen can influence the lubrication of the genitals, vaginal sensitivity and sexual desire. The health of a women reproductive organ can also be affected by the hormone estrogen.

Because of these situations, the ideas relating estrogen to sexual enhancement for women have been pushed forward. Estrogen is considered as a major influence to a women sexual capacity which in turn can alter other different factors. The idea came off it that estrogen production should be enhanced for the benefit of women suffering from sexual problems. The pinpointing of the problem leads to the influential factors which are then treated according to proper methods.

Using ingredients that are natural also became one method for sexual enhancement for women. The use of herbs and natural ingredients makes the product free from harm. Extracts from herbs have been tested of their effectiveness way back to the old times and have made enhancers more potent and trustworthy. They provide women with sexual rejuvenation as well as healthy benefits.

Natural sex enhancers work the way the female hormone estrogen also does. First, the problem is identified and then factors like poor sexual desire, insensitivity of the vagina and low blood flow are treated one by one to eliminate the problem.

Primarily, careful examinations were made for the creation of these methods and female sexual problems treatment. This is done to ensure that the female body will be prioritized while giving solutions to female sexual problems. While enjoying the benefits of an enhanced sexual life, every women well-being should also be considered.

Female Erectile Dysfunction

Female Erectile Dysfunction – Solutions to Consider For Female Erectile Dysfunction

Are you one of the many women who may be wondering if she is experiencing female erectile dysfunction? Do you have trouble becoming aroused? Does it take you a while to become aroused and when you do, does it seem to be a mild or only slightly intense experience? If this describes you, then you may be experiencing something called female loss of libido. Fortunately, there are solutions out there that may just be able to help you turn this around.

A quick and simple solution that you can try is a topical product for eliminating female erectile dysfunction. These topical solutions are easy to use because all you do is apply some of it to your intimate places and let it go to work for you. These solutions quickly accelerate your arousal time and give you a deeper, more intense sexual experience too.

When you are looking for one of these topical solutions to help eliminate female erectile dysfunction, make sure that you find one that has been shown to be successful for other women in their lovemaking. Everyone can benefit from a healthy, interesting sex life – including you. So, be sure to do your research when searching to improve your love life with a topical sexual solution.

One topical product that you should consider for female erectile dysfunction is Female RX Oil. It is an all natural product that uses herbal ingredients to help you in a way that is in harmony with your own body and it’s natural functions.

With Female RX Oil, your body is relieved of female erectile dysfunction immediately upon contact. So, immediately your experience is more intense, and it only takes a drop or two. And these drops are said to pack a punch. Soon, you will be one of the few women who experiences amazing orgasmic contractions. Reclaim your sex life. See what Female RX Oil may be able to do for you!